Tweeters recently wondered (in rather large amounts) that what would happen if Mahabharata happened now. #IfMahabharatHappenedNow hash tag trended for over 48 hours on Twitter. Seeing the current political and social atmosphere in the country, tweeples who’re known for their over-active imaginations, sharpened by the 141-character-limits, shared some really hilarious yet extremely plausible outcomes if the Mahabharata were too happen in 2013.
Kauravas would have starved to death with only 9 subsidized LPG connections for 102 of them. @rameshsrivats
Aishwarya Rai would’ve replaced by Draupadi in L’Oreal shampoo advert “5 problems, 1 solution” @riya043
Draupadi will be blamed for the cheerharan (since the sari was too revealing) & Dushasan will claim juvenile status @indianexponent
Manmohan Singh will be the ‘not-blind-but-mute’ Dhritrashtra & Rahul Gandhi will be Shikhandi (for obvious reasons) @indianexponent
Salman Khan would have been riding chariots drunk and running over people… @mediacrooks
Kejriwal would be saying both Pandavas and kauravas are corrupt @nationalizer
Sheila Dixit would still be wailing to Barkha on how Kaurava army is not under her control and she’s helpless… @mediacrooks
Digvijay would have said “Duryodhan ki Maut ki Khabar sunte hi Sonia Gandhi phoot-phoot ke ro padi” @iNeelSoni
Shinde would have accused Dronacharya of running Terror Camps @surnell
IITians would fight each other to intern under Dronacharya. @IndiaSpeaksPR
Rajat Sharma would have invited Dushshan in “Aap Ki Adalat”.. without asking single question on Draupadi. @MadhuSudan41
Abhimanyu would find that getting out of Chakravyuh was easier than booking a Tatkal ticket on IRCTC @DeepakBiyani
Bheem would be the brand ambsdor of Gold’s Gym, Yudhishtir of LIC, Arjun of clearvision and Nakul-Sehdev of polio drops! @iamanuragj
Poonam Pandey will once again promise to reveal everything, in case the war ends in 3 days. @HerrBains
There would be a rape in Parliament and Meira Kumar would just keep saying ‘Baith Jaiye Baith Jaiye’ @jayantgajria
Kauravas will spend 100 crores to manipulate social media. @HerrBains
Arnab Goswami “Mister Yudhistir how could you have lost the dice game, the Nation demands an answer” @scorpiusmaximus
Arindam Chaudhury would have asked pandavas and kauravas to think beyond Dronacharya. @rainy_leone
Lord Krishna’s recital of Bhagvad Geeta would have been seen an act of Saffron Terror. @SumeerCJ
Dushashan would have produced fake leaving certificate and declared himself Juvenile! @MeeraParikh
Barkha Dutt would have asked “Aren’t Kauravas the victims?” @sureshnakhua
NDTV would have played secular by taking the side of Kauravas as their mother Gandhari was from Afghanistan. @mahnooj
When Bheem met Hanuman, he would hand him t-shirts saying, ‘Being Hanuman’, and then run him over. @hankypanty
Kurukshetra would have been the name of the TimesNow studio. @chetanaggarwal
Whole secularati would have blamed Bhagvad Geeta as a communal literature fit to be banned. @navneet2fm
NDTV would have named Draupadi “Amanat” @sri709
Shakuni Mama would have been in Switzerland managing various Gold accounts… @mediacrooks
Arvind Kejriwal would have exposed the defense scams by Shakuni Defense Corporation @tinucherian
Delhi police would have refused to file FIR against Kauravas for abusing modesty of Draupadi… @mediacrooks
Draupadi would ignore all facebook friend requests from Kauravas and would list herself as married to 5 men!! LOL @iphone5wala
Nandan Nilekani wouldd have had a tough time issuing Adhar Cards to Kauravas … @Ram_jk
Lord Krishna’s updesh would have been in form of tweets. Possibly! @kmohan90
Ram Gopal Verma would have reached the site for making a movie on it. @chaigaram
They would have played monopoly on the iPad and Shakuni mama would have magic iPhone controllers. @vivek_gadiyar
The Kauravas would have needed an Aadhar Card centre for just themselves @KenPraDes
BigB would host ‘Kaun Banega Drau-Pati?’ staring Rakhi Sawant @AAM_aadmi_
Draupadi would be saved thanks to Poonam Pandey coming out naked in support of Pandavas @KenPraDes
Hindutva Activists would have been running a lawsuit against Draupadi for having 5 husbands! @VikasNayak
Suresh Kalmadi would have taken contract of making Indraprastha and later get caught in million dollar scam. @untamedBachelor
Shakuni mama would have consulted Suresh Raina on how to use Nephews. @iBestest
The Kauravas would demand a CBI inquiry into the unlawful killing of Duryodhana. @IndiaSpeaksPR
Rahul gandhi would have felt bad that Ravanan kidnapped draupadi. #YoRahulsoDumb. @truevirathindu
CCTV at Kurukshetra would have been found to be non-functional. @mediacrooks
After Draupadi cheer-haran incident gandhari would have visited Draupadi’s house and offered 2BhK flat in Dwarka @singhdk7
Daily one Kaurav or Pandav would be trending on the twitter according to their performance @ABakaFilmy
Owaissi would ask them to withdraw both armies for 20 minutes and he would make a Sultan win the war @KRGaikwad
Pandavas would have struck a clandestine deal with Kauravas. Rest would have been a staged drama for public. @academichelp
Abhimanyu would have surely used Google Map for way out! @ohmyashu
Draupadi would be a winner in a Big Brother show by sharing to public murky details of the 5 bros! :) @winningalways
Actually, no one would have reached on time for the Maha Yuddh because of Traffic @hardiee
Then special war tourism packages would have come up at Kurukshetra by SOTC @Purav77
Rahul Gandhi would have said “Rajiv ji just told me agar wo hote to Mahabharat nahi hone dete” in his VP opening speech @BeingCommunal
We won’t care a damn about it until some Hollywood director makes a movie on it @D_Misplaced1
The warriors would have been auctioned IPL style! DLF Mahabharat. @Purav77
Dhritarashtra would be getting a Lasik Eye Surgery instead of worrying about the war. @Goddamittt
Shakuni Mama would scam the daylights out of Kalmadi @PranabGohain
Draupadi would have called a press conference to express her anguish. @Purba_Ray
RoberWadra would have bot Kurukshetra in haryana with DLF funds & resold to kaurava Govt fr waging war widAamadmi @Magicspel
Pandavas would have to spend their 1 year of ‘Agyat Vaas’ in Bigg Boss house. @suhasp24
There will be 24/7 TV coverage of Bheeshma’s ‘arrow bed’ moments @r_shivam77
TimesNow would be reporting: “WHY IS THE UPA GOVT SILENT ABOUT BLATANT WIFE SHARING?” @Lord_Ram
Draupadi would have most weird relationship status on facebook @TheDesireless
Arjun’s Gandiv and Shir Krishna’s Sudarshan chakra would have been on top list for Sponsors like Pepsi,Airtel. @LOLendraSingh
Sanjaya would be giving Breaking News to Dhritarasthra every 2 mins like our news channels @iamvinays
Draupadi would be the show stopper for Manish Malhotra’s new saree collection. @NottiHottiAnu
Kunthi’s decision to allow pandavas to marry Draupati will be termed as Khap pachayat ruling @r_shivram77
Gandhari would be the Brand Ambassador for ‘i-can pregnancy test kit’ @nileshghhai
Krishna would be trolled and blocked for choosing Gujrat to set up Dwarika and dubbed InternetHindu @aptrivedi
Krishna might charge Arjuna for consulting costs @avilporwal
India TV headlines will be ‘ draupdi ki saaree ka raaz , khulega Aaj ‘ theek raat 8 baje! @DilFake_Aashik
Set max will buy rights to telecast it and India TV will have a noisy panel of experts to predict whose gonna win @rjTarun
Asaram Bapu would ask Draupadi to call Dushasana “Bhaiyya” @srkfan92
Then Mayawati would have demanded 27% Dalit quota reservation in the final list of Mahabharat Warriors! @Purav77
Arnab will be doing Frankly Speaking with Bhishma as he rests on the bed of arrows. @Manjunaath
Bheem and Khali would have been fighting at #WWE @C_R_Sandalwood
Olympic golds would not have been a problem. Bheem in wrestling and Arjuna in Archery. @ArseneAnger
Nakul-Sahadev would feature on Time magazine cover as the Underachiever duo. @babumoshoy
Abhimanyu must have been a software engineer. Or a Hacker, who knows how to break the firewall of a server. @LOLendraSingh
Title song from Chak De India would be played at the end of every day’s battle for inspiration. @goddamittt
“Rath Acquisition Scam” would be trending in Social Media. Indeed.” @Lord_Ram
Read and enjoy …
Kauravas would have starved to death with only 9 subsidized LPG connections for 102 of them. @rameshsrivats
Aishwarya Rai would’ve replaced by Draupadi in L’Oreal shampoo advert “5 problems, 1 solution” @riya043
Draupadi will be blamed for the cheerharan (since the sari was too revealing) & Dushasan will claim juvenile status @indianexponent
Manmohan Singh will be the ‘not-blind-but-mute’ Dhritrashtra & Rahul Gandhi will be Shikhandi (for obvious reasons) @indianexponent
Salman Khan would have been riding chariots drunk and running over people… @mediacrooks
Kejriwal would be saying both Pandavas and kauravas are corrupt @nationalizer
Sheila Dixit would still be wailing to Barkha on how Kaurava army is not under her control and she’s helpless… @mediacrooks

If Mahabharat Happened Now - Courtesy: Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron
Shinde would have accused Dronacharya of running Terror Camps @surnell
IITians would fight each other to intern under Dronacharya. @IndiaSpeaksPR
Rajat Sharma would have invited Dushshan in “Aap Ki Adalat”.. without asking single question on Draupadi. @MadhuSudan41
Abhimanyu would find that getting out of Chakravyuh was easier than booking a Tatkal ticket on IRCTC @DeepakBiyani
Bheem would be the brand ambsdor of Gold’s Gym, Yudhishtir of LIC, Arjun of clearvision and Nakul-Sehdev of polio drops! @iamanuragj
Poonam Pandey will once again promise to reveal everything, in case the war ends in 3 days. @HerrBains
There would be a rape in Parliament and Meira Kumar would just keep saying ‘Baith Jaiye Baith Jaiye’ @jayantgajria
Kauravas will spend 100 crores to manipulate social media. @HerrBains
Arnab Goswami “Mister Yudhistir how could you have lost the dice game, the Nation demands an answer” @scorpiusmaximus
Arindam Chaudhury would have asked pandavas and kauravas to think beyond Dronacharya. @rainy_leone
Lord Krishna’s recital of Bhagvad Geeta would have been seen an act of Saffron Terror. @SumeerCJ
Dushashan would have produced fake leaving certificate and declared himself Juvenile! @MeeraParikh
Barkha Dutt would have asked “Aren’t Kauravas the victims?” @sureshnakhua
NDTV would have played secular by taking the side of Kauravas as their mother Gandhari was from Afghanistan. @mahnooj
When Bheem met Hanuman, he would hand him t-shirts saying, ‘Being Hanuman’, and then run him over. @hankypanty
Kurukshetra would have been the name of the TimesNow studio. @chetanaggarwal
Whole secularati would have blamed Bhagvad Geeta as a communal literature fit to be banned. @navneet2fm
NDTV would have named Draupadi “Amanat” @sri709
Shakuni Mama would have been in Switzerland managing various Gold accounts… @mediacrooks
Arvind Kejriwal would have exposed the defense scams by Shakuni Defense Corporation @tinucherian
Delhi police would have refused to file FIR against Kauravas for abusing modesty of Draupadi… @mediacrooks
Draupadi would ignore all facebook friend requests from Kauravas and would list herself as married to 5 men!! LOL @iphone5wala
Nandan Nilekani wouldd have had a tough time issuing Adhar Cards to Kauravas … @Ram_jk
Lord Krishna’s updesh would have been in form of tweets. Possibly! @kmohan90
Ram Gopal Verma would have reached the site for making a movie on it. @chaigaram
They would have played monopoly on the iPad and Shakuni mama would have magic iPhone controllers. @vivek_gadiyar
The Kauravas would have needed an Aadhar Card centre for just themselves @KenPraDes
BigB would host ‘Kaun Banega Drau-Pati?’ staring Rakhi Sawant @AAM_aadmi_
Draupadi would be saved thanks to Poonam Pandey coming out naked in support of Pandavas @KenPraDes
Hindutva Activists would have been running a lawsuit against Draupadi for having 5 husbands! @VikasNayak
Suresh Kalmadi would have taken contract of making Indraprastha and later get caught in million dollar scam. @untamedBachelor
Shakuni mama would have consulted Suresh Raina on how to use Nephews. @iBestest
The Kauravas would demand a CBI inquiry into the unlawful killing of Duryodhana. @IndiaSpeaksPR
Rahul gandhi would have felt bad that Ravanan kidnapped draupadi. #YoRahulsoDumb. @truevirathindu
CCTV at Kurukshetra would have been found to be non-functional. @mediacrooks
After Draupadi cheer-haran incident gandhari would have visited Draupadi’s house and offered 2BhK flat in Dwarka @singhdk7
Daily one Kaurav or Pandav would be trending on the twitter according to their performance @ABakaFilmy
Owaissi would ask them to withdraw both armies for 20 minutes and he would make a Sultan win the war @KRGaikwad
Pandavas would have struck a clandestine deal with Kauravas. Rest would have been a staged drama for public. @academichelp
Abhimanyu would have surely used Google Map for way out! @ohmyashu
Draupadi would be a winner in a Big Brother show by sharing to public murky details of the 5 bros! :) @winningalways
Actually, no one would have reached on time for the Maha Yuddh because of Traffic @hardiee
Then special war tourism packages would have come up at Kurukshetra by SOTC @Purav77

Rahul Gandhi would have said “Rajiv ji just told me agar wo hote to Mahabharat nahi hone dete” in his VP opening speech @BeingCommunal
We won’t care a damn about it until some Hollywood director makes a movie on it @D_Misplaced1
The warriors would have been auctioned IPL style! DLF Mahabharat. @Purav77
Dhritarashtra would be getting a Lasik Eye Surgery instead of worrying about the war. @Goddamittt
Shakuni Mama would scam the daylights out of Kalmadi @PranabGohain
Draupadi would have called a press conference to express her anguish. @Purba_Ray
RoberWadra would have bot Kurukshetra in haryana with DLF funds & resold to kaurava Govt fr waging war widAamadmi @Magicspel
Pandavas would have to spend their 1 year of ‘Agyat Vaas’ in Bigg Boss house. @suhasp24
There will be 24/7 TV coverage of Bheeshma’s ‘arrow bed’ moments @r_shivam77

TimesNow would be reporting: “WHY IS THE UPA GOVT SILENT ABOUT BLATANT WIFE SHARING?” @Lord_Ram
Draupadi would have most weird relationship status on facebook @TheDesireless
Arjun’s Gandiv and Shir Krishna’s Sudarshan chakra would have been on top list for Sponsors like Pepsi,Airtel. @LOLendraSingh
Sanjaya would be giving Breaking News to Dhritarasthra every 2 mins like our news channels @iamvinays
Draupadi would be the show stopper for Manish Malhotra’s new saree collection. @NottiHottiAnu
Kunthi’s decision to allow pandavas to marry Draupati will be termed as Khap pachayat ruling @r_shivram77
Gandhari would be the Brand Ambassador for ‘i-can pregnancy test kit’ @nileshghhai
Krishna would be trolled and blocked for choosing Gujrat to set up Dwarika and dubbed InternetHindu @aptrivedi
Krishna might charge Arjuna for consulting costs @avilporwal
India TV headlines will be ‘ draupdi ki saaree ka raaz , khulega Aaj ‘ theek raat 8 baje! @DilFake_Aashik
Set max will buy rights to telecast it and India TV will have a noisy panel of experts to predict whose gonna win @rjTarun
Asaram Bapu would ask Draupadi to call Dushasana “Bhaiyya” @srkfan92
Then Mayawati would have demanded 27% Dalit quota reservation in the final list of Mahabharat Warriors! @Purav77
Arnab will be doing Frankly Speaking with Bhishma as he rests on the bed of arrows. @Manjunaath
Bheem and Khali would have been fighting at #WWE @C_R_Sandalwood
Olympic golds would not have been a problem. Bheem in wrestling and Arjuna in Archery. @ArseneAnger
Nakul-Sahadev would feature on Time magazine cover as the Underachiever duo. @babumoshoy
Abhimanyu must have been a software engineer. Or a Hacker, who knows how to break the firewall of a server. @LOLendraSingh
Title song from Chak De India would be played at the end of every day’s battle for inspiration. @goddamittt
“Rath Acquisition Scam” would be trending in Social Media. Indeed.” @Lord_Ram