Does pornography lead to crime?

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It’s Sunday morning and I’ve just woken up. It’s late – pretty unlike what I generally like about Sundays – the morning winds;  I’ve missed them today. But by now, I have my cup of tea in hand; at least there’s time for conversations.

And it all comes down to: P0rn Ban.

It trended on twitter a few days back and I was also acquainted with the subsequent jokes that followed. I ignored, took it lightly…  it didn’t really reach me. But this morning is different. I turn on the computer and I look around and see quite a few people still talking about the subject on social platforms. It’s still on the level of “jokes”, but on a more objective note – I am forced to think.


Does P0rn Instigate Crime? An it’s an important question.

I remember reading an article that said, studies showed that p0rn controlled crime; that it was the “way out” for sexual gratification when actual sex isn’t available. To an extent I accepted the thought and never really questioned it.

But this morning, I read into the “P0rn Ban” a little more. Could banning p0rn really solve the problem of Crime Against Women? More so, does it lead to crime? Does it disparage women?

And then again, how broad is the term? A naïve me wouldn’t know. I walk into Mom’s room and ask my mom and aunt, “Do you think P0rnography causes crime?”

They give me blank awkward expressions and turn back to their work. I repeat my question and insist, “I want to know. I want to try to understand.”

And they make a point. “Of course” they say.

“What do you think the lower strata of uneducated people get out of it? They just get aroused and don’t care about who they see before them. Their children, their sisters, mothers, wives – it becomes a sad state.”

For the fortunate ‘educated’ others, P0rn perhaps, is just erotic pleasure.

But at some level, the damage is being done. Perhaps.

I sip my tea, “Interesting Perspective”, I think as I walk out to the other room. I’d never looked at it that way. I’ve always been too matter – of – fact about it – just like other young people.

But the more I think about it, the more I am convinced, that it’s NOT (just) p0rn that’s the problem. It’s not the fact that you’re watching sexual content that is the problem. The problem is more about how we view our women – what we perceive of them.

It’s what we think as a society. At every point, what is the identity of a woman? If she’s bold and outgoing – she’s a slut. If she’s simple and soft spoken – she’s the perfect wife.

A classic example is the ridiculous movie – ‘Cocktail’. Deepika Padukone literally adopts Saif – her boy friend in the movie and Diana, her friend. She houses them, she earns for them, she loves them – and they betray her. He cheats on her and her friend simply complies. The film simple cements the old archetype of what makes a woman “good” or “bad”.

I casually mention the ban to a friend later in the day. He lives abroad and we have a brief discussion.

He says “In a country like India, I am not really sure.”

I say, “Not sure?”

He says, “Yeah. We’re an immature country. Banning p0rn can’t really solve the problem, we need healing.”

“Hmm…” I say

After a moment’s silence I speak, “I also think it’s high time to legalize prostitution. Not in context of predominant rapes, but in general – to protect even the rights of those women. They are, after all, human”.

“But in a country like ours, it’s difficult to say whether even legalizing prostitution will help women.”

“I still don’t get you.” I say

“It’s the way 90% men look at women”, he says; “If a girl is with 3 guys, they think she’s a slut. The point is – our concepts of sluts and prostitutes are not right. It’s just not right”

And I am terribly disturbed. It seems SO true! And to think, it had never crossed my mind.

I am reminded of an article I read on “Indian Exponent”.

It talked of the latest MMS scandal involving TV actor, Mona Singh. Pretty similar in concept.

“Women without clothes are not women in our country. Once a woman is seen naked, she is ripped of her dignity and respect.” And as painful as this can sound, they re-called the scene form the Hit Rajnikant Film, “Robot” where the Bot is reprimanded for saving a girl’s life but not caring to clothe her before bringing her out of a flaming building. The girl is shown to commit suicide. And exactly like the author of the post says – it’s the sad state of our perceptions.

It’s the way we’ve been brought up and the culture that we so cherish. Of course we have our pluses and I am Indian to the core. But I still can’t stop myself from questioning some basic laws-of-society.

In the patriarchal society –

- The woman is meant to stay home
- The woman is meant to hold her head low.
- She has to hide behind a pallu
- She cannot say the name of her husband
- She cannot say “NO” to her husband.

The idea of the woman staying home and the man working can be based on the basic intention of a balanced household – but as time has passed, it has gradually been understood that women are equally competent. And as women began to be educated and ‘standing on their own feet’, the world around us began to change.

As women have been empowered, the men have become spiteful. As more women step out of homes, more uneducated men become angered. They look at the modern, educated, well-to-do women as the one who stole their right. Had she not sat on the same benches as them, they would have got the jobs she did. Had she not urged forward in a career, they would have controlled the household. Had she not voiced out her thoughts and made choices in relationships, sexual desires, and profession, they would have easily over powered. They would have remained rulers.

As we inch forward to more women becoming ‘visible’, they hold the grudge. When a woman asks for a cab, that resentful man is disgruntled to take ‘her orders’. A dear friend once recounted an incident. She was parking a vehicle in the parking lot of a building, and the watchman told her to take it out. She argued that it was her aunt’s building and it was fine to keep the vehicle there, and he retorts “Hamare wahan hote toh aurat hone ki aukat bata dete.” – meaning “if you had been in my part of the country, I’d have shown you women your right place”. When she reported the disrespect to building authorizes, all they said was, “we can’t fire him. What if the replacement behaves in the same manner?” And that’s the saddest part. We cringe form taking action and setting examples and every time we fail to discourage dishonor, we’re – as a society, encouraging crime.

I am not sure how much banning p0rn, regulating entertainment content, stopping girls from going out at night is going to help when pitted against strict action, prompt punishments and social boycott to the criminals will make. I think the later makes more of a difference. I think the latter will “help us heal”

It is the problem of our society. And like I said before, every woman has faced abuse in one way or the other – IN OUR VERY COUNTRY. I know it – because I am a woman.

I know how my female friends have faced lewd comments, how they have been molested in day light, how they have been verbally abused, how they are ridiculed for their success– hec! I have faced that myself! Those little bits of disrespect – happen in parts to women – all the time.

It’s the problem of the way we look at our women and their dignity. It’s about the way we look at Sex. It’s the way we cringe at the thought of sex education. It’s the way we ban nudity in cinema because we can’t deal with it. It’s the way we build stories around women who stand up for themselves. It’s the way we judge women, but are okay with decisions men make. It’s the way we lack equality in thought and action. I easily go back to a recent conversation with friends, where guys promptly commented

“It’s cooler to have a boy than a girl. I wouldn’t mind having a daughter, but a boy still is better looking at our society.”

And then again I remember the session at the Jaipur Literature Festival 2013 – the Public Philosopher – a session for the popular BBC radio broadcast by Michael Sandel. The session revolved around the Delhi rape. And you know what was terribly sad? Even women felt it’s “better” to have a son than to have a daughter.

And the more I think about it, the more disturbed I am. In wanting a Son, we’re only shunning our own responsibilities as a society. We can NOT want a son and be “cool” about it. A son – is far more a crucial a responsibility for us – as we evolve as a society – because it’s they who are going to be men tomorrow.

We need to educate our men to respect and treat women as individuals, as equals and not as objects of Sex. And that’s where the problem lies.

Women are NOT objects of sex. Women are NOT objects. When I think of the bottom line – there’s nothing else that makes women weak. Just the fact – that a woman CAN be violated. She can be raped and made to suffer. But women will always be physically weaker; she will always be delicate, she’ll always be simple – but she does NOT always have to be vulnerable.

When I urge these subjects, friends often tease me, “You’ve taken the baton for women empowerment” they say. “I have” I say, “Because I have to.” There is a disparity and we have to accept it. We have to bridge it and we have to do it together. If I sound feminist – I don’t take offend. I am an individual and I am part feminist because it’s needed.

So in short, what I’d like to conclude is: Stricter punishments for crime. Better security for women. Education about equality.

And for those reading the post – let me clarify:

I am not advocating p0rn. I am no Ph.D. in the subject to advocate anything. I am JUST thinking aloud. Also one more question – we’re already a sexually suppressed state. Wouldn’t banning sexual content make us more suppressed? (Not advocating, just thinking aloud). I am not anti – men. We ARE individuals. When it comes to feminism, men and women are on the same side. My friends, my family, my boy-friends! We all understand the need to bridge this gap between men and women.

I am fortunate to be surrounded by people who respect women and understand the need to speak up and bridge the gap.

But before I close, I’d love to know your thoughts. I am still not sure about the whole p0rn thing. The whole censor thing. I am just not sure where we’re headed, except that I know we need reforms. I am not sure what men in our country think about us. I am not sure what our guy – friends think about us. I am just not sure about anything! And just like my parents, please help me understand. Share your thoughts!

Written by Apsara Iyengar >>

Apsara Iyengar is a social media entrepreneur with a start up called Agapé. She is also has a parallel career as a theater professional, is associated with short films and is a blogger. Blogs about society, relationships and abstract ideas.
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Indian Exponent: Does pornography lead to crime?
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