Let’s face it. The cards are out. On one side there’s the dimpled cheek,“Shit! What-am-I-doing-here-I-hate-you-mum!” deported Prince of Italy pitched against the long-lost, most misunderstood son of Mother India who grew up on the streets selling Chai under the alias Chhotu, secretly watching heads roll and learning the trades like a true “Vijay-Dinanath Chauhan” and to not our surprise was destined to rule the clan (Duh! And Yash Chopra was original!).
In short it’s a fight between the stupid, first time, “I-don’t-know-shit-about-dance!’ dancer and the loud, relentless, skilled, shrewd, confidence-redefined, three times Garba Champion of Gujrat! You still need a hint? It’s lowly Sambha perched atop a bolder,chewing cheap tobacco vs Mogambo lounged like a lion in his den, drinking Milk drawn from the udders of the fattest cow in Gujarat! It’s Congress feeble last hope vs BJPs only hope! It’s Sairaj Bahutule vs Shane Warne! If you still need more hints then you better drop all your plans for tomorrow, take the stairs to the tallest building in your city and take a leap! That’ll clear the fog!
The entire country, barring of course the few house-wives who are still waiting for Mihir to return, know the result of this fight. BJP seems to know this and few have already started “shaking-it-like-shammi!”. They have already declared that the current Gujrat Idol is going to be the next Indian Idol and the phapdaas and theplas and khakras and dhoklas have been ordered in bulk. Congress has called a secret meeting to pick the weakest, dumbest, and the stupidest of the lot to blame him for the epic downfall. No, Rahul is safe. The Poor poor Sardaar!
While all this is in full swing, someone is busy digging his own grave, yes exactly like the hundreds of heroines signing their launching film with Ram Gopal Verma. Kejriwal is digging deeper and deeper, cleaning all that space with his jhadoo and he is relentless, sliding into it inch by inch. Every time, anywhere a jhadoo goes up in air I feel a pity and wish I could throw a garland around it! Even the maid in my house breaks into a tear or two whenever she holds the jhadoo in her hand. Hell, everyone knew this would happen. Even the genius of Chetan Bhagat must have received the hints from his smart-publishers that the downfall was evident! Why would he then tweet about his wish for joining the politics and give his fans a reason to cheer and people like me a mild heart-attack?
The Delhi Development Authority reports to the Union Ministry for Urban Development, the MCD is under BJPs control, the files from Delhi Jal Board and Commonwealth games took weeks to reach the concerned officials, police officers refused to be a part of the defunct Anti Corruption Bureau. And there is Arnab screaming that the “NATION WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN 48 DAYS!!!”. No matter how Peekachu-dumb Sanjay Jha looks, his party is shrewd. Congress pushed AK to the Chair and then plugged that chair to a 440V supply!
AK was zapped with Political conspiracy! Of course he has lost his senses! I knew he was losing it when he made Kumar Vishwas the spokesperson and now he’s completely lost his marbles! And no wonder the Con-BJP are having a hearty laugh: AK has been proved a clown! His ship is about to sink and many, like me are still in a confusion as to how did he manage to do it sooner than Himesh Reshamiya did with his acting career? So, it just gives me a hearty laugh when the most intelligent man in the Galaxy after Lord Brahma, Subramaniam Swamy, alleges AK of building a platform for Lok Shabha Elections!
Look closely and it all reads like a Bollywood pot-boiler. Two corrupt gundaas in the locality, police and the entire administration in their stinky pockets, knives with dried blood tucked in their greasy trousers, bully and coerce the poor sabjiwaala, jhuggi-jhopdi waala, and rickshawaala and extort Chandaa in the name of development and exploit them collectively for years.And just when there was no hope in sight, enters the Vigilante, the honest Inspector Arvind (seemingly).
But not too late when he realises that he has made a mistake by standing against an enemy so powerful that he has almost nothing at his diposal to fight them but his Jhadoo and gets tied up really bad in the mess. So decides to quit and sulk in his rented, lonely house with his over-sympathetic, no-make-up, cotton-saree clad wife who serves him rajma-chaawal and sympathises, “Tum ghabrate kyun ho? Hamara masihaa aayega!”. And as soon as, in the darkest of the nights, the jashn in the goons’ dens ends, born is the Prodigal masiha who will deliver us and give us the courage to stand!
Shehensah, still waiting… for a comeback stint.
In short it’s a fight between the stupid, first time, “I-don’t-know-shit-about-dance!’ dancer and the loud, relentless, skilled, shrewd, confidence-redefined, three times Garba Champion of Gujrat! You still need a hint? It’s lowly Sambha perched atop a bolder,chewing cheap tobacco vs Mogambo lounged like a lion in his den, drinking Milk drawn from the udders of the fattest cow in Gujarat! It’s Congress feeble last hope vs BJPs only hope! It’s Sairaj Bahutule vs Shane Warne! If you still need more hints then you better drop all your plans for tomorrow, take the stairs to the tallest building in your city and take a leap! That’ll clear the fog!
The entire country, barring of course the few house-wives who are still waiting for Mihir to return, know the result of this fight. BJP seems to know this and few have already started “shaking-it-like-shammi!”. They have already declared that the current Gujrat Idol is going to be the next Indian Idol and the phapdaas and theplas and khakras and dhoklas have been ordered in bulk. Congress has called a secret meeting to pick the weakest, dumbest, and the stupidest of the lot to blame him for the epic downfall. No, Rahul is safe. The Poor poor Sardaar!
While all this is in full swing, someone is busy digging his own grave, yes exactly like the hundreds of heroines signing their launching film with Ram Gopal Verma. Kejriwal is digging deeper and deeper, cleaning all that space with his jhadoo and he is relentless, sliding into it inch by inch. Every time, anywhere a jhadoo goes up in air I feel a pity and wish I could throw a garland around it! Even the maid in my house breaks into a tear or two whenever she holds the jhadoo in her hand. Hell, everyone knew this would happen. Even the genius of Chetan Bhagat must have received the hints from his smart-publishers that the downfall was evident! Why would he then tweet about his wish for joining the politics and give his fans a reason to cheer and people like me a mild heart-attack?
The Delhi Development Authority reports to the Union Ministry for Urban Development, the MCD is under BJPs control, the files from Delhi Jal Board and Commonwealth games took weeks to reach the concerned officials, police officers refused to be a part of the defunct Anti Corruption Bureau. And there is Arnab screaming that the “NATION WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN 48 DAYS!!!”. No matter how Peekachu-dumb Sanjay Jha looks, his party is shrewd. Congress pushed AK to the Chair and then plugged that chair to a 440V supply!
AK was zapped with Political conspiracy! Of course he has lost his senses! I knew he was losing it when he made Kumar Vishwas the spokesperson and now he’s completely lost his marbles! And no wonder the Con-BJP are having a hearty laugh: AK has been proved a clown! His ship is about to sink and many, like me are still in a confusion as to how did he manage to do it sooner than Himesh Reshamiya did with his acting career? So, it just gives me a hearty laugh when the most intelligent man in the Galaxy after Lord Brahma, Subramaniam Swamy, alleges AK of building a platform for Lok Shabha Elections!
Look closely and it all reads like a Bollywood pot-boiler. Two corrupt gundaas in the locality, police and the entire administration in their stinky pockets, knives with dried blood tucked in their greasy trousers, bully and coerce the poor sabjiwaala, jhuggi-jhopdi waala, and rickshawaala and extort Chandaa in the name of development and exploit them collectively for years.And just when there was no hope in sight, enters the Vigilante, the honest Inspector Arvind (seemingly).
But not too late when he realises that he has made a mistake by standing against an enemy so powerful that he has almost nothing at his diposal to fight them but his Jhadoo and gets tied up really bad in the mess. So decides to quit and sulk in his rented, lonely house with his over-sympathetic, no-make-up, cotton-saree clad wife who serves him rajma-chaawal and sympathises, “Tum ghabrate kyun ho? Hamara masihaa aayega!”. And as soon as, in the darkest of the nights, the jashn in the goons’ dens ends, born is the Prodigal masiha who will deliver us and give us the courage to stand!
Shehensah, still waiting… for a comeback stint.
Written by Tapas Mohanty >>
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