Some of the most cheeky, controversial, yet insightful quotes of Khushwant Singh

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Khushwant Singh was one of the most controversial (and sarcastic), yet admired author / journalist of his time. He recently passed away at 99 – or to quote it in his sharp style, he missed the century. He kept and maintained an image of womanizer and drunkard – but those who knew him acknowledged him as a very deep thinker and fearless writer. Once Khushwant Singh said, there’s no condom made for the pen. This post remembers his views and quotes on various subjects – which were deemed most controversial in his times.

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On Age

When you have counted eighty years and more,
Time and Fate will batter at your door;
But if you should survive to be a hundred,
Your life will be death to the very core.

I have to teach myself to do nothing.
In the last phase of a man’s life,
according to the Hindu tradition,
you’re meant to be a forest dweller.

His Own Epitaph
Here lies one who spared neither man nor God,
Waste not your tears on him, he was a sod
Writing nasty things he regarded as great fun
Thank the Lord he is dead, this son of a gun.

On Morality

Morality is a matter of money.
Poor people cannot afford to have morals.
So they have religion.

On Elite and Poor

But big people’s illnesses are always made to sound big.
The simple shutting and opening of the royal arse-hole
was made to sound as if the world was coming to an end.

We also knew that it was in the nature of an empty stomach to produce illusions of grandeur.

Nature provides that a man who slaves all day should spend the hours of the night in a palace full of houris whereas a king who wields the sceptre by day should have his sleep disturbed by nightmares of rebellion and assassination.

On Delhi

That’s Delhi. When life gets too much for you all you need to do is to spend an hour at Nigambodh Ghat, watch the dead being put to flames and hear their kin wail for them. Then come home and down a couple of pegs of whisky. In Delhi, death and drink make life worth living.

We had heard that the people of Delhi loved their city as bees love flowers.
But we could not believe that the child of a courtesan would prefer to live
in a Delhi brothel rather than in our palace in Iran!

On Freedom

Freedom is for the educated people who fought for it.
We were slaves of the English, now we will be slaves of the educated Indians
—or the Pakistanis.

On Principles

Your principle should be to see everything and say nothing.
The world changes so rapidly that if you want to get on
you cannot afford to align yourself with any person
or point of view.

On Throwing Shoe As Protest
More than a bomb or gun
The footwear is a potent weapon,
For, what years of shouting couldn’t do
A momentary missile has done
And, in the bargain, blackened
A Journalist’s profession;
Even if justice has won
Even Bush to Chidambaram
It is becoming a bit too common;
Thank God, it is as yet with danger fraught
Thank God, my wife has yet used it not.

On RSS

RSS is a communal organization and dangerous to the country’s secular fabric. Look what they did to Muslims in Gujarat. However, they take a different approach with the Sikhs. During the 1984 Sikh pogrom, they did save many Sikh lives. RSS volunteers participated during the tercentenary celebrations of the Khalsa in 1999. They consider the Khalsa to be a military wing of Hinduism and their savior.

On Sikhism and Hinduism

Japji Sahib is Based on the Upanishads.

Sikhs are kesadhari Hindus. Their religious source is Hinduism. Sikhism is a tradition developed within Hinduism. Guru Granth Sahib reflects Vedantic philosophy and Japji Sahib is based on the Upanishads.

One Sikh may argue with one Sikh.
One Sikh must never argue with two Sikhs
– certainly not after dark.

On Indians, Sex and Marriage

Indians have sex more often in their brains and not where it should be. Sex is an elemental passion. It’s an integral part of our life. All human relationship is based on the desire to have sex. It’s human to have desire for sex and when it is not fulfilled, it comes out in *******ed forms. That is why celibacy does not work. The desire to have multiple partners is also normal. Married people commit adultery in their mind – happy married life is a fa├žade. I have a collection of sex jokes, which I hope will be published posthumously.

A Turk for toughness, for hands that never tire; An Indian for her rounded bosom bursting with milk; A Persian for her tight crotch and her coquetry; An Uzbeg to thrash as a lesson for the three.

On LK Advani

I am disappointed in him. He was an able and clean man. I supported him initially. After 1984, Sikhs did not want to vote for Congress. I put forward his name. He came to thank me. But when he was the Home Minister, and he came with his bodyguards in tow, during an event, I took the liberty to say, “You sowed the seed of communalism in the country and the country will pay for it.” Advani doesn’t womanize; such men are dangerous.

On Indira Gandhi

I supported her [Indira Gandhi] when I thought she was right in imposing the emergency. With some reservations, I supported the Emergency proclaimed by Indira Gandhi on June 25, 1975. Let me explain why. I concede that the right to protest is integral to democracy. You can have public meetings to criticize or condemn government actions. You can take out processions, call for strikes and closure of businesses. But there must not be any coercion or violence. If there is any, it is the duty of the government to suppress it by force, if necessary.

But when she curbed the freedom of press during the emergency, I withdrew my support. Indira Gandhi had the habit of snubbing whoever opposed her. She was waiting for a chance to snub me. I never gave her the chance as I never met her after that.

About Himself

My mind is no dirtier than most men’s. I am honest and I say it.
Fantasising is a common phenomenon and there’s no censorship here.

I’ve always been indifferent to dressing.
Amita Malik got it right when she put me among
the worst dressed men in India. But yes, I am a born joker.

No, love is an ephemeral and illusive concept, it doesn’t last; lust lasts.
(On being asked, “Have you ever been in love?”)

I am trying hardest to see no one, because I find it tiresome.
I have people descending on me and flattering me. I fall for flattery.

I write what I believe in and don’t care a damn about the consequences.

On Hindi Films

I’ve no patience with Hindi films.
I find them so unreal. But some I was taken to,
like Raj Kapoor’s Satyam Shivam Sundaram.

India is constipated with a lot of humbug.
Take modern Indian music of the films.
It is all tango & rhumba or samba played on
Hawaiian guitars, violins, accordions & clarinets.
It is ugly. It must be scrapped like the rest.

On Humor

I think humor can be a very lethal weapon.
You make somebody a laughing stock and you kill him.
But most journalists don’t do it. They get angry,
which doesn’t serve the purpose.

On Religion

When I was in England as a student, socialism was much talked about among us.
We read and discussed Bertrand Russell and attended lectures by Harold J. Laski.
I have not retained many socialistic ideas, but I am still an agnostic.

This is one of those things – a contradiction. It was an emotional issue for me.
I was born and raised in a Sikh family. I still keep my beard and turban
and identify myself with the Sikh community.

On Hindus and Muslims

I realized that I belonged neither to the Hindus nor to the Mussalmans. How could I explain to my wife that while the Brahmins lived on offerings made to their gods, the Rajputs and the Jats had their lands, Aheers and the Gujars their cattle, the Banias their shops, all that the poor Kayasthas had were their brains and their reed pens! And the only people who could pay for their brains and their pens were the rulers who were Muslims!

The Hindus hatred of the Mussalmans did not make sense to me. The Muslims had conquered Hindustan. Why hadn’t our gods saved us from them? There was that Sultan Mahmud of Ghazni who had invaded Hindustan seventeen, times—not once or twice but seventeen times. He had destroyed the temple of Chakraswamy at Thanesar and nothing happened to him. Then Somnath. They said that even the sea prostrated itself twice every twenty-four hours to touch the feet of Somnath. But even the sea did not rise to save Somnathji from Mahmud.

It was again to the Prophet Musa that Allah conveyed the essence of true religion. The Almighty said. ‘I was sick, and you did not come to see me. I was hungry, and you did not give me food.’ Musa asked ‘My God, can you also be sick and hungry?’ God replied ‘My servant so-and-so was sick, and my servant so-and-so was hungry. If you had visited one and fed the other, you would have found me with them.
Name

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Indian Exponent: Some of the most cheeky, controversial, yet insightful quotes of Khushwant Singh
Some of the most cheeky, controversial, yet insightful quotes of Khushwant Singh
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