Mr Modi, Not Sexy Enough

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'So, what has YOUR PM Modi done in a year, apart from going on foreign trips'? Asked the ageing adarshliberal diva, trying to arch her heavily botoxed eyebrows.

'For one thing, Modi is not just MY PM, he is the democratically elected PM of India, with a massive mandate.'

'Yeah, yeah, whatever, but he is not sexy', she pouted.

'Being sexy is not the PM's job Ma'am, for that you have Raghuram Rajan'.

The diva blushed, as much as her cheek implants would allow her to.

'Let us not talk about Raghu here, tell me what has Modi done'?'

'Have you been to a train station lately? Oh, I am sorry, you don't travel by train like us lesser mortals. But I have, and all the train stations that I have been to have never looked cleaner.'

'Oh, you mean that Swachch Bharat thing, oh, that's just a gimmick', she shrugged.

'Well, according to news reports over 31 lakh new toilets have been built in rural India under Swachch Bharat'.

'That doesn't impress me honey, tell me what has Modi done for people'?

'Fine, let me give you real life examples. My domestic help has opened a bank account for the very first time in her life under the Jan Dhan Yojana. She gets her salary credited into her account every month. For the first time, she has complete control over her own money. Her alcoholic husband has no access to it. She has managed to save more money in this year than she has in the last ten years'.

'Pooh, that's one person'.

'Okay, take the case of my driver. He has invested in the Beti Bachao Beti Padhao scheme for his daughter's future. He has also enrolled for the Jan Suraksha Yojana. He says, I feel a lot more reassured now that I have some insurance cover. My tailor has applied for a loan under the Mudra Bank and she is awaiting disbursement. So far amounts of over 29,000 Crores have been disbursed to small entrepreneurs in collateral-free loans. These are people I know personally, whose life has changed for the better.'

'Drivers, maids, tailors, is that all you can think of? Tell me what Modi has done for people like 'us'?

'Have you heard of 'Make in India? After the launch of the program, India emerged as top destination for FDI surpassing China and the US.'

'Oh, how does that matter to me? I want the freedom to eat beef. All your Modi has done is to ban beef!', Simpered the adarshliberal while sipping delicately on sparkled Evian water.

'I am really sorry that you feel that way, but 'Modi' hasn't banned beef, the state govt. has, and BTW, weren't you the one who were asking people to be 'kind to stray dogs' in your locality?'

'Yeah, I am an animal lover, you know that', she drawled.

'And cows are not animals'?

She ignored my question.

'Have you surrendered your gas subsidy? I have and so have hundreds of people that I know personally.'

'Oh, you Bhakts,' she drawled in her faux Colaba meets Chicago accent as she signalled her servant to clear the table. He took the barely touched glass of water and the half-empty bottle of Evian away.

'Have you heard of 'Jalyukt Shivar'? The flagship program of the Maharashtra government to encourage water conservation'? I asked. I could see her massive swimming pool rippling in the sun outside from where I was sitting.

'Not really. I have no time for all this sarkari stuff dahling, and now if you'll excuse me, I have to leave now. I am launching my new book, 'How to be sexy at sixty by eating beef'.

Written by Shefali Vaidya

Newspaper columnist, Intrepid Traveller, Amateur Photographer, Armchair Activist, Mum to triplets. You can follow her on twitter @shefvaidya.

The post was originally published on author's facebook timeline here.
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Indian Exponent: Mr Modi, Not Sexy Enough
Mr Modi, Not Sexy Enough
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Indian Exponent
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